Congratulations, you’re a yuppie! (sellout!)
Life is a breeze. Your days are filled with pointless meetings, cubicle gossip, and, if you play your cards right, very little actual work.
In fact you’re probably reading this right now at work... I rest my case.
But that doesn’t mean you don’t have your fair share of challenges, and it’s important you confront those challenges head-on in the most classy and manly way possible.
Being a yuppie, you almost definitely walk to lunch on a daily basis (packing a lunch is for 3rd graders… although between you and me, I miss the snack packs). Heck, if you’re doing it right, your home is within walking distance of all the coolest happy-hour haunts.
Again... life is good.
However, one must always account for those rainy days...
Walking in the rain is one of the most emasculating challenges an adult male must face. I don’t care who you are, or how tough you may be - it’s the anti-spinach. You are probably all too familiar with its effects: shrugged up shoulders, squinting, pained eyes, and a face that screams "oh crap, I’m going to have to spend the rest of the day in soiled trousers".
In movies, the only time a man is ever shown in the rain is in the dreaded chick flick. Even then, it’s either after he’s been kicked to the curb, or when he’s outside defiantly proclaiming his love come hell or high water (what a wimp!) ... or if he’s being portrayed by John Cusack.
Keep in mind, this is only done to subliminally give the impression that the man is crying, without having to make him physically do it. Proving that even though women may say that want a sensitive man, you better not be so sensitive that you cry like a blubbering idiot.
Therefore, when combating an enemy as ancient as the earth itself, it’s important to be prepared both mentally and physically.
So, what is a man supposed to do in these difficult and wet times?